1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000 2 00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:07,262 Hi , my name is Jamie scam a horn . I'm 3 00:00:07,262 --> 00:00:09,484 a retired master sergeant of 24 years . 4 00:00:09,484 --> 00:00:11,550 Um , I spent my 24 years in the fire 5 00:00:11,550 --> 00:00:13,660 service . Um , 6 00:00:15,740 --> 00:00:19,340 my message to everybody today is yeah , 7 00:00:19,740 --> 00:00:22,630 about how to deal with putting away 8 00:00:22,630 --> 00:00:26,300 your memories and unpacking them safely 9 00:00:26,300 --> 00:00:28,950 and carefully versus doing what I did . 10 00:00:29,740 --> 00:00:33,030 Um , my theme is battlefields and boxes 11 00:00:33,030 --> 00:00:35,252 and every day was a battlefield being a 12 00:00:35,252 --> 00:00:37,419 first responder because I may have not 13 00:00:37,419 --> 00:00:40,070 been been shot at on a daily basis , 14 00:00:41,140 --> 00:00:44,380 but the carnage that I saw was just as 15 00:00:44,380 --> 00:00:48,180 bad . And every time you put that into 16 00:00:48,190 --> 00:00:50,510 context , you put it , it's a memory , 17 00:00:50,510 --> 00:00:52,732 you store it , you file it , you put it 18 00:00:52,732 --> 00:00:54,899 away however you want . In my case , I 19 00:00:54,899 --> 00:00:57,680 put it in boxes . And as my career 20 00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:00,440 progressed , my warehouse of boxes just 21 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:03,660 continued to grow . And 22 00:01:04,540 --> 00:01:07,710 one day out of nowhere , something 23 00:01:07,710 --> 00:01:09,877 triggered me to the point where all of 24 00:01:09,877 --> 00:01:11,988 those boxes came crashing open at one 25 00:01:11,988 --> 00:01:15,680 time and I literally hit rock 26 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:17,680 bottom . I did not know where I was 27 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:19,736 going , what I was doing , how I was 28 00:01:19,736 --> 00:01:21,850 supposed to feel . I just knew that I 29 00:01:21,850 --> 00:01:25,550 didn't want to be here and I found 30 00:01:25,550 --> 00:01:28,040 myself walking into the mental health 31 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:30,890 clinic and 32 00:01:30,900 --> 00:01:34,500 that wasn't enough . I only , I could 33 00:01:34,500 --> 00:01:36,510 only see the clinician as their 34 00:01:36,510 --> 00:01:38,790 schedule provided . So once a week , 35 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:41,220 twice a week , once a month , you know , 36 00:01:41,230 --> 00:01:44,960 it just wasn't enough . But 37 00:01:45,740 --> 00:01:48,770 that hard stairway to to the mental 38 00:01:48,770 --> 00:01:51,240 health clinic definitely brought me to 39 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:53,462 people that were willing to help me and 40 00:01:53,462 --> 00:01:56,840 we're willing to show me the right path . 41 00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:58,784 And that's how I found the wounded 42 00:01:58,784 --> 00:02:01,007 warrior program was another veteran who 43 00:02:01,007 --> 00:02:03,180 had a dog and I just had gotten to 44 00:02:03,180 --> 00:02:05,347 talking to him because I've never seen 45 00:02:05,347 --> 00:02:08,270 a veteran with or active duty military 46 00:02:08,270 --> 00:02:10,492 member with the service animal before . 47 00:02:10,492 --> 00:02:12,930 So I was naturally intrigued as he and 48 00:02:12,930 --> 00:02:15,208 I got to speaking , he says , you know , 49 00:02:15,208 --> 00:02:17,430 it sounds like you really could benefit 50 00:02:17,430 --> 00:02:17,390 from the Air Force wounded warrior 51 00:02:17,390 --> 00:02:21,150 program , naturally what is that ? 52 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:24,670 You know ? And after he broke it down , 53 00:02:24,670 --> 00:02:28,290 he helped me with my referral and I got 54 00:02:28,290 --> 00:02:29,901 set up with my recovery care 55 00:02:29,901 --> 00:02:31,950 coordinator . My life changed 56 00:02:31,950 --> 00:02:34,750 drastically . It wasn't 57 00:02:35,740 --> 00:02:38,190 I was at the bottom in this whole by 58 00:02:38,190 --> 00:02:40,730 myself just feeling like I'm drowning 59 00:02:40,740 --> 00:02:42,907 anymore . There were people that , you 60 00:02:42,907 --> 00:02:45,073 know , reached in and grabbed me by my 61 00:02:45,073 --> 00:02:47,296 shirt collar and said , hey , you don't 62 00:02:47,296 --> 00:02:49,351 belong there . And they pulled me up 63 00:02:49,351 --> 00:02:51,930 and all throughout my medical board 64 00:02:51,930 --> 00:02:54,530 process , which was very lengthy . I 65 00:02:54,530 --> 00:02:56,474 was in the medical board for three 66 00:02:56,474 --> 00:02:59,560 years all throughout that process . I 67 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:02,580 had my recovery care coordinator there 68 00:03:02,580 --> 00:03:04,358 with me . If I had a question , 69 00:03:04,358 --> 00:03:06,691 something wasn't happening with my care , 70 00:03:06,691 --> 00:03:08,691 everything that they brought to the 71 00:03:08,691 --> 00:03:12,060 table helped a to keep me sane 72 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:15,790 but also helped me to realize that I'm 73 00:03:15,790 --> 00:03:17,910 not alone , that strength is still in 74 00:03:17,910 --> 00:03:20,260 me . I have the power to get through 75 00:03:20,260 --> 00:03:23,480 this . Mhm . And the most dangerous 76 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:25,970 thing I can say to any person who 77 00:03:25,980 --> 00:03:28,170 struggles with PTSD and depression and 78 00:03:28,170 --> 00:03:32,010 anxiety is , yeah , you're not 79 00:03:32,010 --> 00:03:34,360 alone , you have to you have to pull 80 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:36,850 yourself up , you know , and I 81 00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:39,420 understand more than anybody how hard 82 00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:41,698 that is because I had a gun in my hand , 83 00:03:41,698 --> 00:03:44,650 I did want to die and I'm still here . 84 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:49,950 No , don't put all your all your 85 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:53,130 instances in boxes and stuff them down , 86 00:03:53,140 --> 00:03:56,200 It doesn't work . You know , talk to 87 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:58,422 somebody , it doesn't matter who , talk 88 00:03:58,422 --> 00:04:00,533 to your mom , talk to your dad , talk 89 00:04:00,533 --> 00:04:02,700 to a stranger , reach out to us at Air 90 00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:04,644 force wounded warrior , we will be 91 00:04:04,644 --> 00:04:04,560 happy to talk to you . You are not 92 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:08,470 alone . Um with that being said , 93 00:04:10,340 --> 00:04:12,284 I'm not perfect . I still fight my 94 00:04:12,284 --> 00:04:14,790 struggles and battles every day . There 95 00:04:14,790 --> 00:04:16,901 are memories that do not go away from 96 00:04:16,901 --> 00:04:19,012 me , I have nightmares and bad dreams 97 00:04:19,012 --> 00:04:21,234 and things that keep me from being what 98 00:04:21,234 --> 00:04:24,650 I consider my past is being normal . 99 00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:28,490 My normal has changed just like 100 00:04:28,490 --> 00:04:32,010 everybody else is , you know ? And as 101 00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:34,650 time progresses , so does your normal 102 00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:37,018 no , just don't let your normal 103 00:04:37,018 --> 00:04:39,240 progress you into a pit where you can't 104 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:41,760 get out . No Air Force wounded warriors 105 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:43,930 there for you . They have definitely 106 00:04:43,930 --> 00:04:46,097 been there for me . They have saved my 107 00:04:46,097 --> 00:04:48,319 life . Hands down . I would not be here 108 00:04:48,319 --> 00:04:51,360 without so take the time reach out . 109 00:05:03,940 --> 00:05:04,390 Yeah ,