JOINT BASE SAN ANTONIO-RANDOLPH, Texas--This is the first in a series highlighting members of the Air Force Wounded Warrior (AFW2) Caregiver Program. Margaret Harrison, a Tennessee native and caregiver to her husband, Jon, finds joy in the things that help her slow down such as growing roses and vegetables, reading and learning new things and spending time with her husband, two daughters and seven grandchildren.
Jon, an Air Force senior master sergeant who suffered from a traumatic brain injury in 2018, states that his personal recovery would be so confusing and complicated without his wife’s organization and attention to detail.
“She spoke up and was my voice when I could not,” he said. “She did her best to ensure I received the best care possible, to include the best facilities, when everyone was saying it could not happen.”
“The biggest thing I appreciate about Margaret is her patience with me when I either forget simple things or just shut down because I cannot do things I once could,” he continued. “Before my injury, I definitely took these things for granted.”
Margaret looks back with appreciation at attending her first CARE event and acknowledges the impact the AFW2 Caregiver Program has had on not only her husband’s recovery, but hers as well.
How has being involved in the Air Force Wounded Warrior Caregiver Program helped your personal recovery?
My warrior and I have been to two events; the first event was pretty traumatic for me and I felt like I was definitely outside of my comfort zone. Honestly, I had no idea what to expect and cried the whole way there and the entire first day. I can’t tell you why!
As the week progressed and I began meeting with the program leaders and other caregivers, I became more comfortable and ultimately, realized I was not the only one struggling. Others were facing similar issues I was - our warrior’s life-changing injuries, adjusting to our new day-to-day life, learning about the processes and resources available to us and how to take better care of myself. These are just a few of the topics that we addressed that first event but it gave me an opportunity to reflect on what I was thinking and how I was feeling while my warrior was receiving the care he needed.
That first week was about me learning to let others help take care of my warrior because up until that point, I had been taking care of him alone. I was able to learn why I was crying; I struggled seeing my husband as wounded but then there he was smiling, laughing and creating bonds with other warriors. At that first event, he told me that he finally felt like he was able to be himself and that statement was life-changing for me as his caregiver. Had we not taken a chance and come to that first CARE event, our growth through this process would not have started.
If you had to choose your favorite/most beneficial part about being a part of the AFW2 caregiver program, what would you say it was?
I have loved everything about the AFW2 Caregiver program, but for me personally, I have learned so much from the speakers who come in and address so much of the processes we are all going through. Information that before my warrior was injured, I had no idea what any of this new terminology meant or what resources were available. It has been an educational experience for sure.
If you allow yourself to open up, the bonds you will experience is amazing. Having a safe environment to share our deepest thoughts and feelings is so important in taking care of ourselves and actually having other people truly care, listen and understand has meant everything to me.
Lastly, seeing my husband realize he can do more than he thought he could and expand his activities free of judgment… to see him smile again is everything to me.
How do you personally define resiliency? How has your view on resiliency changed since being a caregiver?
For me, resiliency is a process of being able to move through a traumatic and life-changing event when all you really want to do is give up because it is too difficult to face.
I am not a nurse by profession, nor would I say I am organized or structured. However, life now requires that of me and my personal resiliency is something I have to work on every single day. It is not something we can give up on because our warriors depend on our resilience.
This program has helped me to understand just how important it is to take care of myself in addition to my warrior.
What does it mean to you to have the support network of other caregivers and the AFW2 staff?
What a blessing to know you are loved by the people who sacrifice their time to reassure you that you are loved. After these events, you walk away with a new set of friends you can turn to at any time - even if it’s just words of encouragement when you are struggling.
What advice would you give to a new AFW2 caregiver?
If you are new to the program or considering going to an event, the only thing I can say is please do! Open your heart to the program because you have to experience the love to truly understand what a gift this program is.
Allow yourself the opportunity to grow and bond, both with your warrior and other caregivers because that bond is priceless.
The Caregiver Support Program is an instrumental part of each warrior’s comprehensive recovery plan with the aim of building resilient families because a caregiver’s intangible bond with their warrior is what makes this program an invaluable resource. A bond that revitalizes each member and gives them the strength and encouragement to persevere against all odds and thrive in their new normal.
“I just want to thank you for the sacrifice you have made in your life to make my life a priority,” said Jon. “I love you even though I am unloving at times. Thank you for learning with me because Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) has caused such chaos in our lives for years and you are taking the time to learn about it with me.
We are not there yet but we are not where we once were,” he continued. “Each day is a new step in our journey. Recovery, not recovered, is an active word but we are doing it together.”
For more information about AFW2 or the Caregiver Program, visit their official website, like their Facebook page, and follow them on Twitter for program updates, upcoming events and the latest news.